Roadkill

I cannot pass up the opportunity to describe my trip down some of our south Florida two-lane highways this week. Going on back roads affords one the opportunity not just to reflect on the research at hand, but to witness the stunning biologic diversity of smushed critters. No, I am not talking about the usual ho-hum of terrapins, alligator snapping turtles, possums on the half shell (known to you Texans as armadillos) or even raccoons (so clever, but completely useless on paved surfaces). I always see a lot, but this week I saw a couple that were truly impressive.

Meandering back up SR 31 from Ft Myers, I passed orange, cattle, and sand farms. I did not know that they farmed sand, but I can give you the address of this last one if you want to see for yourself. When you live that rural, I guess you will figure out a way to make a living. Anyway, the next thing I saw was a dead alligator. This would not be really surprising, given the location, but what took me aback was the sheer size of the thing. You couldn't even see the whole alligator from the road, the head end of it was off in the bushes somewhere, though clearly still attached to the body. Its thighs were as big as mine. I am talking Busch Gardens material. (The alligator, not my thighs, which I will not discuss further.)

This alligator must have been hit by a rock hauler or something, as any smaller vehicle would have bounced off the beast and landed in the ditch with a broken axle to show for it. It must have been 9-10 feet long at the very least. I guess I should have taken a picture, but then someone would have had to stand beside the carcass to provide scale, and that would have been gross.

Anyway, eventually I hit SR 70 and headed west. I came upon a battle scene of carrion-eating birds. Two dead birds were in the road, don't know if the second one was eating the first when it got hit, or whether they were battling over the same prize, but one was an enormous turkey vulture with a wing span of several feet. They don't usually get creamed so I couldn't help but notice.

Finally, I was almost to Panther Ridge. (Why do they always seem to name these new subdivisions after animals that you are NEVER GOING TO SEE AGAIN now that they've built the subdivision???) My last animal friend who went to the great celestial zoo was a rattlesnake. A great big fat thing, lying just on the other side of the center line. At this point it was just me and a white SUV coming the other way on the road. I had just passed the snake and barely had time to say "holy @#$% that's a big snake" when the SUV went by. I looked back in my rearview mirror to admire the snake one last time. I saw the SUV slam on his brakes and make a U turn in the middle of the highway. He came to a halt right next to the body. Yeah, that snake was going to make a real nice belt.