I made another visit to see my friend Kate this weekend.
When I arrived, she was dozing in her recliner, her lower legs wrapped in
bandages to protect her very friable skin. She’s a retired nurse, so we always
have things to talk about. Kate lost her husband to a stroke almost ten years
ago. Earlier this year, she made the decision to part with their expansive
family home. Her rheumatoid arthritis had become so crippling that she was no
longer ambulatory. She moved, with the help of friends and family, to a nearby assisted
living facility.
Kate shares that she is sad about how her life has turned
out, but she accepts things as they come. Gary left her well provided for, so
she is able to afford her own suite of rooms in the ALF. She brought several
pieces of furniture with her, so she has some material comforts from home. After
a medical tech brings in her noontime drugs, she comments “There is another one
that I kind of have a crush on. I know I’m 84 years old, but he’s so handsome”.
We reminisced about her career. Kate graduated from a
hospital school of nursing in Rochester, Minnesota. She then took a job in an
intensive care unit in Michigan. While living there, she bought a VW bug on a
day trip to Ypsilanti. She and her roommate decided to be adventurous and move
to California. They shipped their belongings in trunks (those were the days),
jumped in the Beetle and headed west.
After working in the city for a short time, she heard about
a young man named Gary who was coming to town. A family member told him to pay
a call on Kate, and told Kate she should meet him. Gary came to her apartment.
Kate peered out the peephole in the door. “All I could see were these big blue
eyes staring at me” she said. Of course, she opened the door. For their second
date, Gary took her to Fisherman’s Wharf, then for a romantic drive to the
hills above the city, where they could look down at the lights.
After their daughter and son were born, Kate stayed home for
a few years. Gary’s job then brought him to Tampa. Kate mused about going back
to work, and Gary told her it was time to consider whether she was going to
keep her nursing license or not. She quickly decided to take one of the “RN
refresher courses” that were popular at the time. She completed the course and
started work at a local hospital.
Terry, a patient, was admitted to her unit one evening. His
hygiene was poor, and several of the staff commented critically. Kate thought of
him as a child of God and decided that the next day she’d take him a coffee and
get to know him. Terry, as it turned out, was employed as a garbage collector
but had no stable housing, so getting a bath was difficult. As they chatted,
another visitor came in, wearing a shirt with the logo of a local them park and
a red cross. Kate commented that it must be a fun place to work. “It is, and we
are hiring” was the response. That is how Kate came to spend the last 21 years
of her nursing career working in the medical facility at Busch Gardens.
Kate's full story bears many lessons about dealing with adversity, coping with loss in the later stages of life, and commitment to one's career. Perhaps the most striking to me is the message of the last part of this short summary. Extending courtesy and kindness may not always pay off, but in this case it did. It couldn't have happened to a nicer person.
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